CONFIDENCE BUILDING MEASURES

Raising confident kids is a stupendous task for a parent. In fact few of us ever realize that our little bundle of joy is a master of his own domain rather he thinks himself to be as big and powerful as we are. His supremacy is a casualty in the process of development. The scrutiny of elders, the faultfinding and evaluation by others shakes the foundation of his confidence. He begins to question his power unless we show him the way to face failures and allow him to make mistakes. Why does this happen? It happens because all of us have very strong need to belong and seek approval of others. The child learns to depend on outside evaluation to assess his own performance, measure his self-worth, and shape his future choices.How many of us realize this and better still how many of us really know how to counteract it? Not many. Failure phobias kill the creative and innovative abilities of children. It also leads to their becoming under-achievers or perfectionists, that is, either they will not choose for fear of failure or they will choose in accordance with highest social standards. Both the conditions are not healthy for the child. What is our duty as apparent? The onus of preparing our children to learn from their mistakes lies on us. They can turn their mistakes into opportunities of learning if the parents pay a little heed to their own conduct:
1. Never punish your children for misbehavior by denying them doing something they are good at. For example, your little one excels in painting but messes the paint around while doing so. Now don't try to discipline the child by admonishing her and not allowing her to paint for sometime.

2. Show your children the path of progress and success in mistakes. If your child is trying to put on the socks do not intervene unless he is beleaguered by it. Appreciate the effort and the extent of correct performance.

3. Do not admonish yourself for the mistakes committed rather take positive steps to start afresh and control the damage caused.

4. Do not broach the past mistakes time and again.

5. Never compare your children with others or one sibling with another.

6. Teach the children that success is buried in failures.

7. Do not ridicule anybody for mistakes.

8. Increase the Failure Tolerance of your child by restraining your reactions to their mistakes. Welcome what has been performed well rather than criticize the child for failing.

9. Appreciate the power of struggling for imparting strength and compassion. This makes the children humane. They discover their abilities to overcome failures.

10. Target the behavior ( undesirable) rather than the child. Developing a sense of right or wrong is important for then they will not fall prey to peer pressures which include substance abuse, promiscuity, deteriorating academics, gang involvement, low self-esteem, lack of creativity, irresponsibility, and other commonplace problems. Those who aren't rewarded with the approval they seek, there's frustration, anger, cynicism, apathy, depression, rebellion, aggressive or violent behavior, and so on.When we allow them to make mistakes they are willing to take risks, learn new skills and explore the unknown. The skills and abilities they inevitably gain then leads to a strong sense of independence.